Self-Inquiry: Know Thyself
Recognizing our true nature
Self-inquiry is the simple and direct process of looking into the true nature of our Being, as exhorted by the ancient dictum ‘Know Thyself.’ It is simple and direct because we are not trying to learn a new skill, or acquire a new set of knowledge or talent etc. We are only looking at what already is, to discover the essence of our true self — that which remains unchanging amid the constant flux of activities of the body and the mind. Though simple, it does not seem easy because of unconscious identification with the innate tendencies of the body and the mind. Therefore, in order to recognize our true nature, we have to first see past all that which comes and goes that we get caught up in.
Impermanence
If we look with discerning eyes, then it’s fairly obvious that everything comes and goes. All activities of the body and the mind keep changing, not just thoughts and emotions but even our physical body up to the cellular level is constantly changing. Moment to moment everything changes. Everything comes and goes. Everything is in constant flux every moment, every cell, every atom, every particle.
We can say that everything is impermanent. Including even the idea of impermanence, which is only a concept, and that too comes and goes. And if we look further closely, the concept of impermanence itself is ultimately not accurate because nothing stays even for a moment before it can even become impermanent, due to being in constant flux every moment. This is emphasized in this beautiful quote by the great Buddhist philosopher Nagarjuna:
“There is no such thing as impermanence because nothing comes into being to even be impermanent”.
Gaudapada, an ancient master of Advaita or nondualism, similarly said:
“That which was not and that which will not be, does not even exist now”.
Setting aside any debates about the philosophical differences between the viewpoints of Advaita and Buddhism, if we really look at the core of the two viewpoints, both touch the same ground that everything that seems to appear doesn’t have any substantive existence. The apparent existence of anything is only a fleeting optical illusion.
Note that this is not to get caught up in any philosophical speculation that the world is an illusion. That’s not the intent of self-inquiry. Despite the illusory nature of existence, it seems real to us in everyday life. And we deal with it transactionally as necessary. To speculate that the world is an illusion has the trap of simply remaining as a theoretical understanding without touching the way we live. The primary intent here is to directly recognize that all things come and go, and therefore they do not have any substantial existence even though they do matter at a transactional level in our everyday lives. We have to pay the bills, take the trash out, follow traffic rules etc. We have to deal with whatever comes up from moment to moment as we transact in the world. But we can still recognize that all worldly transactions as well as the instruments with which we engage in those transactions — our body and mind — are fleeting by nature.
Awareness: our ever-present nature
The key insight to look into is that while the transactions in the apparent reality of this world happen as we respond to sensory and thought perceptions, there is an underlying ever-present, unchanging reality that is the light of awareness which illuminates all that comes and goes. Our actions and thoughts are conceived and enacted in this canvas of awareness. Metaphorically speaking, this awareness can be likened to a light in the room we are in. The light in this room illuminates everything, and yet it is self-illuminated. It is unconcerned with what’s going on in the room. Without the light nothing in the room can be seen. Similarly, our awareness is what illuminates all our thoughts, words, and actions. Without it, there are no perceptions. Yet, awareness is untouched by all the coming and going of perceptions and actions. So, the key realization of self-inquiry is that this awareness is our unchanging Being.
Awareness is not something that we need to go find anywhere because that is our very nature. We don’t have to read any book, study any scripture because we can see that it is our own light that illuminates all the activities of the body and the mind.
Some might characterize awareness as the witness of the activities of the body and the mind. But we can use the metaphor of light illuminating the room to see that even the idea of a witness is ultimately not right. The light is not witnessing what’s going on in the room. It is simply there and unconcerned. In the light everything comes and goes. Furthermore, unlike the objects in a room, deeper inquiry will lead us to realize that the activities of the body and the mind are themselves only forms of awareness. Every thought, every motion, every sensory impulse of the body is essentially a form of awareness itself. Thus there is no duality between the awareness that illuminates all forms and the forms themselves, being only modifications of the underlying light of awareness that remains unaffected by the forms.
When we are having any interaction in the physical world or even in the subtle realm of the dream world while sleeping or even while sitting awake and daydreaming, all these interactions are illuminated simply by our own awareness. It is not that some outside entity comes and shines light to make us aware of what is going on. Awareness is ever present as our very nature, whether there is any content in the mind or even when the mind is silent. When there is content, the content is illuminated and when there is no content, the silence is illuminated.
Are thoughts to be reined in?
What makes us lose sight of our ever-present nature as awareness that is free of any content is the unconscious identification with thoughts and the body. But the body itself is also ultimately an image built by thought. After all, we have no direct perception of how the cells or the organs of the body function or look except through the medium of thought and the knowledge it provides.
So the question comes up as whether one has to rein in thoughts in order to realize our true nature as awareness. After all, it seems like thoughts are the enemy as they constantly pull our attention away and cloud the ever shining sky of awareness and therefore it seems that we have to go past the cloud of thoughts in order to abide as the sky of awareness. Yet once we deeply recognize our nature as the sky of awareness itself, then we can also recognize that the clouds are not a problem because whether there are thoughts or not, the sky of awareness is ever present. This realization also helps thoughts get put in their right place. Just as the physical body does not entirely vanish upon realizing our true nature as awareness, thoughts also do not entirely vanish, but they do get put in the right place. We realize that thoughts are then only needed for engaging with the transactional needs of the world such as cooking, driving, operating technology etc. There is no unnecessary thought activity beyond that.
Recognizing the Source
The essence of self-inquiry, therefore, is to simply recognize and abide as the awareness in which thoughts rise and fall. One of the traps of meditation, including self-inquiry, is the tendency to control or suppress thoughts, but the intent is not that at all. Of course, the flip side of running behind a thought and indulging in it is not the way either. Instead, it is to go to the root or the source of the thought itself.
This is all summarized beautifully by Ramana Maharshi:
“Trace every thought to its source. If you let a thought run, it will then go on endlessly but trace it to its root and go to the source.”
Or as he puts it elsewhere, dive deep into the source of thought like a pearl diver dives into the ocean. What is implied is that when there is a wave in the ocean, we just need to go into the source from which the wave arises. We don’t have to change the wave with another wave — in this case, another thought that says “I need to stop this thought”. In attempting to suppress a thought wave, we have merely succeeded in creating an additional thought and identifying with another wave in the ocean. But if we trace the source of the thought, we recognize the ever-present awareness that is our real nature or the very water in the ocean from which all the waves rise. Therefore, we don’t have to condemn any thought. We simply have to trace it back to the source from which it arises, which is the light of awareness.
Thus if we trace the source of thought, then any thought is an opportunity to do so. We don’t need to control, judge or suppress thoughts. But we ought not to indulge in and run with thoughts either. When we run with the thought, we identify with the thought, and get lost in it. That’s why it is like dreaming because in a dream we are lost as a fictitious person identified with the fictitious avatar and engaging with the fictitious world, but many times that’s what we do in waking world as well. I may be sitting here but lost in a thought where I’ve taken on the image of the subject and engaging with an object which can be another person or another incident that happened in the past or a worry about what’s going to happen in the future. So I’m basically enacting the exact same process of a dream while awake. If we engage in thought, run with thought, we are not going to see the reality of our being. But also if we judge or suppress thoughts, we are not going to the root either. Because when we do, in effect, we judge ourselves and then it only becomes an unhelpful process. “Why am I having these thoughts?”, “Why am I having so many thoughts?” etc. All of that is only taking us away further into identification with the thinker as “me” — without realizing that the idea of “me” is itself yet another thought. Instead, when a thought arises, “Okay there is this thought now, let see where this thought is arising from”. This inquiry will eventually reveal the ground-state of awareness. By diving deep and remaining as the source, thought doesn’t bother us anymore.
Self-inquiry as a way of life
By being able to persistently do that — that is, remaining as the source of Awareness — through practice, we can then bring that perspective in our transactional dealings with the world. While talking, listening, working and every other activity of daily living and relating with others. In time there can then be a certain sense of this perspective shift happening on its own as we are grounded as the light of awareness which is not bothered nor affected by any of the happenings.
Thus, self-inquiry is not just a process of meditation that we do 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening — though that can be a helpful way to get into the practice as we begin exploring this way of life. It is to be and act out of a calm awareness throughout the day, where we are alert to any false identification with thought. This will enable us to instantly get into the root of our being, and thereby, not get caught in the drama of thought.
This alertness to unconscious identification with thought need not even come out of the ground of effort to negate thought identification but the ground of love that comes out of the immense peace, beauty and joy of being as the calm awareness that is our true nature. We have been looking for this peace consciously or subconsciously our whole life. And now having discovered it, it naturally occurs as to why we would want to step out of it into the drama of duality. This deep sense of love and gratitude at having realized our own true nature as peace itself makes it effortlessly simple and sweet to abide as the calm awareness. Then what happens, happens and perfectly so — free of any sense of false egoic identification.
